After the typical stripping and carousing began the episode, Frank was seen crying on the phone to his mother and that was a sign of things to come…
TJ started off by saying theres a serious problem in the house and I was already at a loss. Because of Frank’s viral infection he had to go home. That was terrible, but it gave all the other guys a huge advantage.
Challenge #3: Bar Crawl
This weeks challenge was a 4 person challenge. The two last place teams go straight into the draw. It’s a challenge based on balancing on beams elevated above water (you know the standard challenge shit) and oddly enough Nia and Preston were the last ones picked. CT and Cara Maria looked like a good team until you notice Swift and Aneesa were also on the team. They moved so slow they didn’t get anywhere. Brandon, Camila, Jessica, and Bananas looked like a solid team, but the way its been edited, it’s hard to tell if they were doing as well as it looked liked. Cohutta, Nany, Preston, and Latoya have the balance/squirelly advantage cause of Cohutta, but Nany’s actually really holding her own. This was the first time I’ve seen her really step up. Zach, Portland, Theresa, and Devyn have Devyn and Portland, so things aint lookin good. Jasmine, Jordan, and Jonna had to do work with one less member, but it gave Jordan some latitude to work alone. Too bad he dropped the plank and got DQd. Leroy, Lauren, Nia, and Isaac actually looked like a monster squad and almost won if Brandon and Camila’s team didn’t kill it more. This was the most I’ve ever seen Brandon do, but the annoying thing is that the win put Bananas in the winners circle. The ladies deliberation seemed to be full of the drama where the men’s elimination was fairly straightforward. Portland got the nod for the men, and Nia gets the nod for the women. The losers of The Draw were Cara Maria and NO ONE on the mens side because none of the guy
Elimination #3: Looper
This was a kind of cool elimination. Both women were tied to the same rope and had to run in opposite directions through an obstacle course until a one of them wins the tug of war by ringing the bell. From the outset it looked like neither of them were going to make any progress. After 80 mins of them being stuck in the sand, I could hardly watch anymore, but Cara Maria ended up pulling it out. This was a well deserved win, but I’d be worried about having any strength left for the next challenge day.
Challenge rankings from Michelle T and myself can be found below!
Men’s Rankings
1. C.T
Michelle: CT expressing a case of nerves? So he is human, after all. I always just kind of assumed he was some sort of sex god beast sent to us from another time and place to alter the future of humanity.
2.Leroy
Russ: Watching the after-show, I have even more respect for Leroy for handling his “business” off-screen.
Michelle: Love you always. Never change.
3. Zach
Russ: It’s like Zach went to the Brandon School of Challenge Screentime.
Michelle: Still hasn’t really done much so far. I’m hoping he Hulks out again soon otherwise it’s going to be a total snoozefest Zach-wise this season.
4. Jordan
Russ: This was really the first episode in two seasons where Jordan really messed up anything on his own, and it still wasn’t that bad. Guys still a beast.
Michelle: You may have lost this for your team, but you were going at it alone and with one hand, so I still consider this a great performance.
5. Cohutta
Russ: Dude. Nany? This is still going on? She kissed Portland like RIGHT after you dawg. Now you’re walkin’ around being fake engaged? Brotha’s really falling hard yo.
6. Bananas
Russ: I used to be amused by Bananas being a petulant child, but cheering like an asshat during one of the best eliminations ever, just to be a jerk, is a jerk move. Jerk.
Michelle: I’m too distracted by your piecey mom haircut to even comment on your game play so far this season. Will you be providing orange slices after the elimination rounds, or go for cookies like a cool mom?
7. Isaac
Michelle: I was hoping Isaac would come out of the woodworks and be funny like he was on his RW season. Instead he kind of just grunts along with a wide eyed, slack jawed space face. Disappointing.
8. Brandon
Russ: YOU WON SOMETHING! I can’t believe it. You actually mattered for the first time in your life.
Michelle: Even Brandon’s own mother doesn’t know he’s on this show yet. Be interesting! I beg this of you.
9. Preston
Russ: Anytime Preston isn’t the worst at something, you gotta wonder if he’s stepping up, or the guys are just guttertrash.
Michelle: Preston’s holding his own this season and I hope it continues. I’m still confused as to why he comes back challenge after challenge, despite his total lack of ability, but I respect his willingness to give it a try year after year.
10. Swift
Russ: You’re corny, bro.
Michelle: The interesting thing about Swift is that he is actually just as uninteresting as Brandon.
11. Johnny (Portland)
Russ: You no-talent lucky SOB. If you drew Jordan, you would have been sent home with the quickest of quickness.
Michelle: I would have liked to see if this joker could prove himself in an elimination round. I’m still not expecting much from this rookie.
Women’s Rankings
1. Laurel
Russ: We all know she already won this season right?
Michelle: Yea girrrrl get some! You know that Jordan’s daddy issues-fueled inferiority complex totally makes him very eager to please in the boudoir. Enjoy!
2. Camila
Michelle: We’ve already experienced a classic Camila freakout this season, so I’m hoping that’s cleared out the cobwebs for her to start shining challenge-wise. I can’t help it, I’ll always root for that tiny little nuthead.
3. Theresa
Russ: (See Michelle’s comment below)
Michelle: I’m still waiting to see you really shine in a challenge. I feel you there is a lot of potential there but it just hasn’t all come together yet.
4. Cara Maria
Russ: You earned all the respect in the world from me. Jack Sparrow FTW!
Michelle:You’ve finally been accepted by the group! They might finally treat you with respect! I was actually choked up when you won the elimination, especially against a tough girl like Nia. I hope this winning streak continues.
5. LaToya
Russ: You have a Challenge house talk show? You would be the Wendy Williams of the house.
Michelle: I respect the way she’s playing the game. I’m hoping to see great things from her this season.
6. Jessica
Russ: Stop calling yourself a rookie. You were on last season…
Michelle: Ya dumb. Ya stupid. I’m excited to see you fight with Jordan next week because even if he repeats his couch jumping performance fighting technique, you’ll still look more dumb than him.
7. Nany
Russ: This week, you were actually halfway decent at something and contributed in a challenge instead of just getting wrapped up in drama in the house between boys or your friends or whatever or this is a run-on sentence.
8. Jasmine
Russ: I hate you so much but props for not opting to save her team and skip the draw. Granted she still would have been eligible to be voted in, but still. Props.
Michelle: Of course Jasmine volunteered to be the stripper for the fake bachelor party. And of course she just happened to have a naughty school girl costume with her in Uruguay. And of course her vaj was hanging out for most of her routine. I always root for her to get it together and it never happens. Sigh.
9. Aneesa
Russ: You don’t hate the sense of entitlement Laurel has, you just jealous that you’re bad at everything.
Michelle: Laurel isn’t being entitled if she actually proves herself time and again as a great competitor and wins challenges for her team. So calm down.
10. Jonna
Russ: How much longer before Jonna goes back to her usual plan of “D” “Essing”?
11. Devyn
Russ: My thoughts on Devyn this week are “…”
GOODBYE LOSERS:
1. Nia
Russ: I feel like she didn’t get the chance to do enough this Challenge, but I’m hoping she comes back with some axes to grind!
Michelle: Nia bums me out. She just seems like a sad person. I hope she can come back next season and do some work, but also maybe chill out a little, make some friends and enjoy the experience. (I’m hoping this will be my only mom-esque post for this season, but I can’t make any promises)
2. Frank
Russ: The Challenge Gods were not smiling upon you this season. Sorry bro. Karma got after you hard.
Michelle: Frank must go home because he has a “viral infection” that is “very contagious”. Heehee herpes, right? It’s gotta be herpes.
If you look, you’ll notice the pack is still pretty crowded. A lot of people who should be doing way more simply aren’t. I blame the fact that the first three challenges were all team based or partners, so you can’t really show much of your individual merit. I hope next week, we finally get to see what a truly independent competition looks like.
About Russ Stevens
Russ Stevens is an editor and writer at Rookerville and a guidance counselor at Nyack HS. He mostly writes about either loving or hating things. In his spare time, he performs Improv comedy with his troupe Priest and The Beekeeper and is a co-producer of their monthly variety show Pig Pile. He loves all the New York sports teams that are historically bad, and he hates lateness more than anything in the world.