AHHH I cant believe Jordan and Marlon capsized!  Oh well, at least they didn’t have to go to NIGHTMARE ISLAND (TJ you crazy!). The structure of this final challenge, I must say I’m not that impressed with.  I like that they had more mental stuff in it, but it just seems kinda boring and repetitive.  It seemed more like a few regular challenges strung together.  None of the epic-ness I’ve been known to fear/love, but in the end, the “good guys?” won, so theres that.  CT & Wes and Paula & Emily really were the stronest teams all season.

The State of The Challengers

The WINNERS!

1.  Paula & Emily 

Russ:  They totally deserved this.

Michelle: Paula & Emily: the most athletic team won, which is nice.  Paula is way too comfortable drinking pickled milk, which is worrisome.

2. CT & Wes

Russ: CT vomited out his actual soul.  Holy shit. But they did it.  I’m actually proud of CT like I know him.

Michelle: CT is no longer the Dan Marino of the challenge and Wes can go buy his 37th company.  Good news all around!

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Michelle: I was rooting for you guys, but you did amazing for Rookies! Come back and win next year!  Now Marlon, go reward yourself for your hard work with a big ole dong on the hottest guy you see!

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ:  You guys just didn’t have it. Later.

Michelle: Too bad Frank didn’t win enough money to get his own place, cause Jonna is still going to be royally pissed at him for back stabbing her. Hope they don’t live in a railroad!

3. Cooke & Cara Maria

Russ:  Cooke, I respect you, but Cara Maria, too bad there weren’t any freaky sexy sex challenges, you freaky sex skank.

Michelle: It would have been poetic to see these two win after being voted in to the jungle every second of their lives.  Plus, I’m still salty over Diem saying they don’t deserve to be on the challenge….if they hadn’t gone into elimination and won every time, Diem’s ass would have been eliminated way sooner.  Same for the rest of the chicks. Anywhoo, second place is still great and they should be treated with more respect next challenge, so its still good news for these two.

So there you have it.  It was a great season, with a lackluster finale, but the seeds have been planted for an even better challenge the next time around.  Hopefully we get a great challenge next spring (or whenever it comes back).

The post The State of the Challenge Rivals II: FINAL WEEK! appeared first on Rookerville.

We’re getting close to the end and the heat is on.  Diem and Aneesa fittingly went home, and the house was granted a drama reprieve before the final challenge.  As we’ve seen the last few seasons, the show becomes very different when the final challenge comes up.  Basically all that drama and bullshit (that we love) doesn’t matter anymore.  The only thing that matters is conquering the challenge itself.  The last few have pushed the envelope of difficulty and safety, and it appears as though TJ wouldn’t have it any other way this time around.  We only got to see the first part of the challenge, so we’ll have to wait to see who REALLY steps up. Also, two teams will be going home before seeing the full challenge.  That being said…

The State of The Challengers

The Finalists

1.  Paula & Emily 

Russ:  Saying that anyone deserves anything on a show about adult babies who drink, fight, fuck, and lie to each other for my enjoyment, seems kinda weird.  That being said, these broads deserve to win as much as anyone with no discernable real life skills deserves to win anything.

Michelle:

2. CT & Wes

Russ: CT had maybe one of the most prescient analogies last week.  He compared himself to Dan Marino, arguably the best QB to never win a superbowl.  I’m sure no one in the demo of The Challenge, got that reference, but I loved it.

Michelle: It’s hard to predict if these two will choke in the finals again (a la Wes in Rivals I and CT in Exes).  Considering all the crap they talked to Johnny all season, I sure hope not.

3. Cooke & Cara Maria

Russ: I can already hear the chants, “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!”  Too bad I hate that movie.

Michelle: I love an underdog story as much as Cara Maria loves electric nipple tazers.  Translation: I love an underdog story A
LOT.  Keep it up!

4. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ: I want to see rookie champs! (even though neither of you are on my fantasy challenge team)

Michelle: Dear Lord, please don’t be the two who capsized.

5. Johnny & Frank

Russ: I hope your boat capsized.  Johnny doesn’t deserve (there goes that word again) to 3 peat.

Michelle: Dear Lord I hope it was you two who capsized.

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. Aneesa & Diem

Russ: Thank christ.  I’ve never soured faster on a team in my life.  Aneesa is too old to be on these challenges and Diem is fake as a mofucka, so I don’t like that either.  I’m glad they went home with Diem being the reason.  POOF. BE GONE.

Michelle: I sure hope Diem knows the Heimlich maneuver, because that girl is the biggest choke artist I’ve ever seen.

2. Camila & Jemmye

Russ: This ended up being my favorite ladies team, but lets face it, they dumb.  A puzzle so close to the beginning of the final challenge was all I needed to know to know these girls were done.

Michelle: Non surprising loss.  Glad we got that out of the way quickly so we can focus on the final two who have a shot at winning.

The post The State of The Challenge Rivals II: Week Eleven appeared first on Rookerville.

It’s the final ladies challenge so let the drama begin!  Cooke and Cara Maria winning was the best thing to happen for TV purposes.    Diem is a scraight up sore ass loser.  Watching her fall apart made me feel alive in every conceivable way. I’m so ready for this final challenge yo!  Johnny telling the cameraman to follow Diem is my favorite part of the season.  But alas, like blue-balls, this episode left me wanting more.  I hate two-parters, cause you get all the drama but none of the payoff.

The State of The Challengers

Front Runners 

1.  Paula & Emily 

Russ:  Of course the challenge that matters most is the challenge they don’t win.  Paula, crying ain’t a good look.  I wish Diem would go into remission…from The Challenge.

Michelle: No other team deserves to be in the final more.
Although watching them sweat it out with Marlon and Jordan was pretty
satisfying.

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ:  Johnny is manipulating Diem particularly cause he hates CT.  Love the gamesmanship, but you’re a real hater boi.

Michelle: Somehow Frank has crazied his way into another final.
I really would have loved to see these two sent home on their asses,
but they will help make the final challenge more interesting, as all
the guys teams are jacked up.

3. CT & Wes 

Russ:  CT doesn’t owe Diem jack shit.

Michelle: Well played, Tamburello. Well played.

4. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ: I love that Jordan and Marlon finally got the opportunity to be in the power position and have people grovel at their feet who fucked them over all season.  I hate Diem.

Michelle:  I really hope they can make Rookie history and win
the final.  They are the only team that doesn’t contain terrible
people, so it’d be nice to see them win.  Also, loved that little
power trip at the end of the ep.

Tough Competitors

1. Camila & Jemmye 

Russ: Diem is the worst.  Jemmye and Camila are the best betches in this house.

Michelle: I’m totally ambivalent about this team, except for my
desire to see them send Diem home and Jemmye to get some retribution
for everyone shit talking on her all season long.

2.  Aneesa & Diem 

Russ: Diem, shut your fucking face.  To say people didn’t deserve to make it, when they won EVERY single Jungle and the final challenge is horseshit.  I now hate you forever.  Aneesa, I feel bad you got stuck with this.  Also, you’re way too old for this house.

Michelle: Diem, you a) lost the challenge for your team by being
arrogant/not trusting your partner b) was a sore loser about it c)
campaigned to get your friends thrown in the jungle d) got your way
voting, but still threw a tantrum about it. e) got owned by “some girl
named Jemmye”. And after all of that, you’re STILL tryna act all
innocent. Russ was right, you are a frontin ass biotch.  Also, your
Paranoid Elimination Dress wasn’t even that cute.

Long Shots

1. Cooke & Cara Maria 

Russ:  It took me till the final challenge to want to see this team do anything.  They deserved a trip to the finals solely because they got SHAT on all season.  Nice job Cara Maria.  I hope everyone else destroys you.  Eat a big old D-iem.

Michelle:  LOVE this win.  I predict second place in the
final. Cause ain’t no one beating Paula and Emily.

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. I HATE WHEN EPISODES ARE TWO PARTERS!!!

The post The State of The Challenge Rivals II: Week Ten appeared first on Rookerville.

Thank god they didn’t let the last men’s challenge be some pu$$y shit.  The mens final challenge kinda went the way I expected.  The combo of CT and Wes are getting it going now, so they are the team to beat going into the finals.  Johnny and Frank have made it to the finals as well.  And now the claws on the mens end are comin out! I love that all that competitive bullshit is coming to a head.  The final mens teams are exactly who they should have been.

The State of The Challengers

Front Runners 

1.  Paula & Emily 

Russ: They kinda deserve to make it to the final women’s challenge with control of what happens.

Michelle: My prediction for the girl’s winner.  If they don’t beat Diem and Aneesa, you just might see a grown woman throw a temper tantrum.  The grown woman throwing the tantrum will be me, not Paula or Emily.

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ:  Johnny playing the stand-in role for Frankie boy this week? Love the change of pace.

Michelle: I can’t say I hate seeing Johnny wimp out at this challenge and finally get called out on it. Unfortunately, his record does beat both CT and Wes’ as far as final challenges go, so the old man might get it together for the final.

3. CT & Wes 

Russ: CT and Wes just gelled.  That’s a problem. That’s a real problem for everyone.

Michelle: Wes owns a monster truck and 34 businesses!! I’m too impressed to say anything more.

4. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ: I have a bias towards this team cause I think they are legitimately aweseome.

Michelle:

Tough Competitors

1. Camila & Jemmye 

Russ: I’m disappointed in these guys this week.  Camila’s been rising on my list as of late, so it’s sad to see her cool off.  And also Jemmye’s one of the hottest girls in the house.  I expect more.

Michelle: Just get out of here, crazies.  We all know you would be a mess in the final, with Camila screaming the whole way, so just end it this week please. Kthanks.

2.  Aneesa & Diem 

Russ:  Is it still appropriate to use the term “Frontin’?” Cause that’s all Diem seems to want be doin’ yo. Frontin’ ass biotch.

Michelle: Diem, we all know you just like the attention from CT. Granted, who wouldn’t?  But don’t get carried away here. If you’re as serious about the game as you claim, quit chasing boys (aka hulking men) and trick Aneesa into doing some more laps before the challenge tonight.

Long Shots

1. Cooke & Cara Maria 

Russ: Cara Maria doesn’t like pads.  She’s more of a whips and chains kinda gal, so that’s why she was terrrrrible.

Michelle: I’m hoping these two can kill it in the final cause I’ve grown to like Cook, and winning will ensure Cara Maria comes back for the next 84 challenges, which will drive everyone crazy.

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. Preston & Knight 

Russ:  Preston spoke this week!  Preston also hit someone? BALLer .  Knight go fuck yourself. Later jerk(s).

Michelle: you guys should be proud. The fact that you made it this far is an accomplishment. “Accomplishment” and “fluke” mean the same thing, right?

The post The Challenge Rivals II: Week Nine Recap appeared first on Rookerville.

It was a fairly uneventful episode.  There was the Camila/Jemmye freakout over less than nothing.  One thing that was interesting was that Frank is incapable of being even remotely self-reflective.   All in all, I think you sometimes need these light episodes as a bit of a breather.  Everyone left in the house for the most part has a serious ax to grind, so I think we’re in for a pretty wild last few episodes.

The State of The Challengers

Front Runners 

1.  Paula & Emily 

Michelle: Even Emily couldn’t control Camila while she was in Angel Dust Mode.  First sign of weakness this season.

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ:  Frank is spitting straight up heatrocks in Jemmye’s direction.  Also, he seems to call everyone a rookie.  Am I crazy or was his FIRST challenge the Battle of the Seasons?

Michelle: Since when does Frank think he’s a veteran that can ditch his rookie friends?  He’s like the captain of the JV squad who thinks he’s hot shit cause the Varsity team let him go out for wings with them once.

3. CT & Wes 

Russ: Is this their first win? I can’t remember, but I think they are pretty much getting ready to make a big run at this.

Michelle: Thank the lord, finally!  I couldn’t handle watching another embarrassing display by these two.

4. Jordan & Marlon 

Michelle: I still think Marlon is tuff (in The Outsiders sense) but not so much tough (in the quitting sense) after this challenge.  Oh well, they are still a favorite to make it to the final.

Tough Competitors

1. Camila & Jemmye 

Russ: Camila and Jemmye are becoming my favorites.  I love their brand of crazy.  It’s pretty great to see Camila try to keep Jemmye in check and then turn around go crazy, and need Jemmye to keep HER in check. Awesome cycle.  Also, Camila: sweet nip slip lady bro.

Michelle:  of course camila and jemmye are both adult lifeguards. Of course they are

2.  Aneesa & Diem 

Russ:  My hatred for this team is growing more by the episode.

Michelle: Diem is loving the CT attention with no intention of getting with him.  I’m not into it.  Mostly because if I was on the receiving end of his romancing, I would be SO INTO IT.  One might say I’d be too into it.

Long Shots

1. Preston & Knight 

Russ:  Preston getting scared of the dumb witch prank might be the most screentime he’s had this season.

Michelle: The one thing you can do in these challenges to make up for sucking is to not be a quitter. These two can’t even handle that assignment.

2. Cooke & Cara Maria 

Russ: Cara Maria, dude! You KILLED IT! Oh wait. You didnt?

Michelle: ah, an elimination with whips and blindfolds! no wonder Cara Maria excelled for once!

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. Jonna & Nany 

Russ: OF COURSE JONNA is roommates with Frank.  And OF COURSE Frank has to vote in his roommate, and go back on his word, and send her home.  Peace losers.

Michelle: peace out, skags! I’m guessing Jonna will have a new boyfriend by the time the plane lands in the US.

The post The Challenge Rivals II: Week Eight Recap appeared first on Rookerville.

If you like The Challenge like I like The Challenge, you didn’t like last weeks episode.  Too light on the dramz, so we didn’t write about it. Sue me.

This week we’ve finally gotten to the halfway point so everything from here on out matters.  Taking that into consideration, I have re-seeded the teams the way I think they’ve performed up to this point. DOG COLLARS!?!? TJ I feel like you make these Challenges up.  You’re the man.   Anyway, the elimination challenge is the exact reason why this is the best show on TV.  Jordan and Marlon winning is what veterans hate.

The State of The Challengers

Front Runners 

1.  Paula & Emily 

Russ: I’m tired of talking about them winning, so I’ll talk about how I didn’t like that Emily was trying to call out Jordan for being antagonistic to Frank.  Doesn’t she know what show she’s on?

Michelle: not only is Emily a beast athletically, she is also cool enough to call Johnny out while he is “manipulating” the girls vote. Might I use the term “girl crush” here?

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ:  And it’s starting. They are going to be scary good going forward.  Because they can luck out and win, and even if they don’t they can out-politic anyone.  It’s nice to see the old Frank back and in zero control of his emotions though.

Michelle: I almost thought frank had matured into a normal person this season. Thanks for proving me wrong, ya big crazy! A tip: don’t deny saying things that you were caught on camera saying just moments earlier.

3. CT & Wes 

Russ: All Wes sounds like the past few episodes is a big old emo biotch. Just sayin’.

Michelle: I could not have predicted CT and Wes being this bad at winning. Get it together already!

4. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ: It’s ok Jor-Mar.  You can’t beat everything. Jordan called out Frank in an awesome fashion.  Marlon. Never call out Leroy. NEVER. That was the best challenge elimination I think I ever saw.  Good job guys.  This season or next, they are going to be a real problem.

Marlon: Marlon was amazing in the elimination. Won it hands down for his team. This is one instance in which I will use the term “amaze balls”.  I hope he and Jordan go for Johnny and Frank next.

Tough Competitors

1. Camila & Jemmye 

Russ: Camila was a straight up beast. She’s becoming one of my favorite Challenge ladies. She’s an awesome blend of crazy and work-crushing.

Michelle: Yeah camila! Drag those three losers to the end of the maze like the dead weight they are! P.s. can’t wait for your freak out next week. Let’s make it a good one, eh?

2.  Aneesa & Diem 

Russ: Diem and Aneesa.  You old ass bitches.  Get off the show.  I’m done with you both.  I hate that they won. I really do.  Don’t mistake my moving them up a ranking for thinking they are good.  As long as they are tight with CT and Johnny, they’ll be at the end, which is unfortunate.

Michelle: I know Aneesa is technically wrong for not wanting to train with Diem, but I totally get her not wanting to be patronized. In the beginning of the episode, Diem basically did the adult equivalent of “how fast can you clean your room? I’ll time you!” To Aneesa. Like Diem is this star athlete that has to take responsibility for her out of shape partner. Get ova ya self.

Long Shots

2. Jonna & Nany 

Russ: Jonna is the biggest brat on earth. TJ said it was the most pitiful thing he’s ever seen.  Watching her cry was pretty awesome tho.  I feel bad Nany is shackled with the type of girl who definitely doesn’t have girlfriends.

Michelle:  their freak out seemed staged in order to be “cute” and “girly”. I was not into it. At all.

Come On, Seriously?:

1. Preston & Knight 

Russ: I feel like preston is hardly on this show.

Michelle: being terrible at everything just may book you a ticket all the way to the final. Congrats?

2. Cooke & Cara Maria 

Russ: WE GET IT CARA MARIA…You like stupid shit.  She’s the worst. Now you’re crying bro?

Michelle: omg cara, you’re a sex freak who uses electric underwear and nipple pins, we get it. But still didn’t help you win and you are getting harder and harder to root for. I’m starting to join Paula’s side in just wanting you off the season already.

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1.Leroy & Ty 

Russ: Ty showed up bigtime (which is not saying a whole lot).  But now they are going home.  They took place in the best elimination challenge ever, but they lost, so like TJ says “I’m sure we’ll see you guys in the future.”

Michelle: Leroy is still one of the most respectable competitors ever on the show and I love him. He’s one of the few who accepts responsibility for going into the elimination and losing, without blaming everyone else.   I still forget anything Ty did all season. Leroy could have been a solo team for all I know.

The post The Challenge Rivals II: Week Seven Recap appeared first on Rookerville.

Whoa.  The girls got DUMB this week.  After the worst voting mistake in Challenge history, Leroy & Ty got voted into elimination against Trey and Big Baby Zachy Poo.  They even lost the elimination, only to be spared by Zach’s inadvertent cheating.   One thing we learned for sure this week, is you don’t throwaway your vote.  You have a vote for a reason. Vote in someone you don’t like. Game over.   With that, I’ve decided to do a quick re-seeding based on the Challenges up to this point.

The State of The Challengers

Front Runners 

1. CT & Wes 

Russ: Damn Wes, you sound a lil jeal jeal about Theresa and Leroy. Moving out of the room?  What a sad ginger-bear. Bro, I don’t think Leroy is even a little bit insecure dude. It’s nice to see the “master manipulator” back.

Michelle: Considering their beef is over almost nothing, I wouldn’t be surprised if Wes is fighting with Leroy so he has a strong teammate for the next Rivals season. And we all just don’t understand his bigger plan until the very end, cause he’s like the Abu Nazir of The Challenge.  Or maybe he just wants more screen time, who knows. Gingers are difficult to understand.

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ: Johnny.  You finally get political.  I think it’s brilliant that he let Knight and Preston win.  That’s a total vet move.  Love it. Frank, this was the most sane I think I’ve ever seen you.

Michelle: Johnny had the real life incarnation of the Hulk after him with a vengeance and he didn’t even blink an eye. Nor did he even get even close to being voted into the Jungle.  For a guy that seems middle of the road in every possible way (looks, smarts, social graces, facial hair), he really has the golden touch during these challenges.  He even has Frank acting like a reasonable human being.

3. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ: Jordan killed it in the challenge (imagine I said that like TJ).  Marlon didn’t eff anything for the first time in what feels like weeks. Bring Derek back!

4.  Paula & Emily 

Russ: It’s nice to know they are both human.  They are still the biggest lock in the house in my opinion however.

Michelle: Who cares if they have their first loss of the season? In an HD that makes even the attractive cast members look beastly, Emily appears to have perfect hair/skin/nail beds/athletic prowess so I’m fine with it.

Tough Competitors

1.Leroy & Ty 

Russ: YEAH LEROY! Get Theresa some screentime.

Michelle:  Thank goodness Zach is a big ole cheater, so Leroy could go back and hook up with “the prettiest girl in the whole house”.  It’s a good thing he got with her before her career as a big time lingerie model breaks out.  Look out Kate Upton, there’s a gangly brunette with a horrifying accent on your trail!

2. Camila & Jemmye 

Russ: Camila and Jemmye effing booked it in the challenge.  I’m impressed. They also have the hottest lady in the HOUUUUUSE (Jemmye)! According to RoyLee.

Michelle: You say tomato, I say don’t you dare break down that tomato into a condiment or I will lose my mind!  Besides the traumatic ketchup incident, these two are remaining highly uninteresting this season. I, for one, did not sign up for this show to watch some emotionally mature adults act like ladies all season long.  Let’s see some of that crazy or let’s see an elimination round.

3. Jasmine & Theresa 

Russ:  They won because they are perfectly middle of the road.  That’s sometimes the best way to be.  But you are a fucking moron. You never vote in the guy you’re banging.  EVER.

Michelle: Theresa is still known as the hot girl in the house? Really?

Long Shots

2. Jonna & Nany 

Michelle: Nany, you’ve been wearing that pink dress since your RW:Vegas season in 2011 and I feel awkward for even knowing that.

3. Aneesa & Diem 

Russ: I’ve never seen Aneesa complete something in my entire life.  EVER.  Luckily they are vets because they should jump Jonna and Nany and/or Theresa and Jasmine in the coming weeks.  All they have to do is play possum and they are safe.

Michelle:  Her decision to send in Leroy and Ty was a solid one.  Once he had the one “throwaway” vote, Nany and Jonna shouldn’t have given him the second, so this is all on them.  And what do they expect, anyway?  This is a girl who does not play it safe, as proven by her People.com blog Diem Brown Blogs: Why I Don’t Play It Safe.

Come On, Seriously?:

1. Preston & Knight 

Russ: Knight you little fuck.  You’re a little fuck. He’s the absolute perfect minion.

Michelle: Why does Preston always look so sad?  I mean besides losing every challenge and his teammate making homophobic jokes and everyone thinking he shouldn’t be there, why so sad?

2. Cooke & Cara Maria 

Russ: Cara Maria’s fall was incredible.

Michelle:  Just stay under the radar and keep playing well, and you will have a decent shot. This is about the time that people get nervous and house alliances start imploding on themselves, which will help you to be less of a house target.

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. Zach & Trey 

Russ: CAVEMAN ZACH NO HAPPY HE MISS NEPHEW BIRTH! ZACH SMASH! ZACH STOMACH HURT CAUSE HE NO SEE BABY!  ZACH CHEAT, BUT NO BELIEVE HE CHEAT!  Also, Trey’s a bitch. PEACE YA’LL!

Michelle: I’m already nervous for Zach’s reaction if he ever has a kid of his own. I suspect a padded cell and restraints will be required in the birthing room.

With that said, the loss of Zach and Trey is really going to speed this game up.  Between that and Leroy’s accidental vote-in, I think the political machinations are in full swing.  Expect to see Johnny own the competition shortly.

The post The Challenge Rivals II: Week Five Recap appeared first on Rookerville.

Any episode that starts with a buttload of girl drama is my literal favorite.  These fights make no sense, but it’s what I live for. Sweet prank Johnny and Leroy!  Wes has turned into a GBF this season (gay best friend).  Watching him give guy advice to Jemmye about Leroy is also my favorite thing that has happened this season.  I’m writing all of this drunk.  A FIGHT OVER KETCHUP!?!? Jemmye has joined the ranks of the craziest people ever.  Love it.  TJ pulled the greatest prank of them all by not sending any girls home.  This is truly brilliant.  The sheer glee I feel watching this show rivals that of the best dramas on television.  It does not make sense.

The State of The Challengers

Front Runners 

1. CT & Wes 

Russ: CT’s goal for this season appears to be getting Diem to take her fake hair out, because he obviously doesn’t give a shit about winning.  Still the #1 team because the minute he decides to care, it’s on.

Michelle: Wes starts the episode with a cheers that says “here’s to the family we never had.” This is one of those instances where everything about a person is explained in just one sentence.

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ: Did they do anything this week?  It’s weird to have an episode with fights like this, but their complete lack of involvement.  Maybe it’s part of their plan?

3. Paula & Emily 

Russ: Get the fuck out of here…

Michelle: if these two keep it up, they could possibly have the first ever perfect game in Challenge history. #UnbeatableBitches.

4. Camila & Jemmye 

Russ:  ”He knows how I feel about ketchup.” That’s all I have to say.

Michelle: Jemmye is currently undergoing treatment for emotional stress related to a traumatic ketchup slinging incident.  Stay tuned to see if it will affect her game.

Tough Competitors

1.Leroy & Ty 

Russ: They finally get into some action.  Leroy calling Jemmye “one of the hottest girls in the house” defies ALL conventional logic.  She’s fine enough, but lets not get crazy.  Making a move for Theresa after the Jemmye/Knight drama was a very smart move.  Still waiting on Ty to do anything.

Michelle: who knew Ty had the voice of an angel? Who knew Roylee would bottom feed with Jemmye and Theresa?

2. Zach & Trey 

Russ: I get that Zach’s teammate is probably the spawn of satan (for girls), but he’s got to relax. His hate for Trey is why these dudes probably wont win again.

Michelle: my TreyRage prevents me from having any level headed thoughts about this team.

3. Jasmine & Theresa 

Russ: They went to the elimination that never was.  Good for them, cause hopefully that’ll spark some action going forward.

Michelle: Theresa, your “long avatar arms”??  I understand anyone would feel like a giant next to Jasmine, but you’re like  like 5’6, tops. Calm down. ALSO, throw on a layer of mascara. I’m watching in HD.

Long Shots

1. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ:  JORDAN AND MARLON FTW! I love these dudes.  I’m pumped they won, and now even though they aren’t on my fantasy team, I’m gunning for them to win.

Michelle: CT’s gonna stop sleepin’ on ya. GET SCARED.

2. Jonna & Nany 

Russ:  Of course the episode starts with the resident skee-o’s trying to get with Jordan and CT.

Michelle: I’m surprised these two didn’t perform better in a challenge that involved so much pole work, nah mean?

3. Aneesa & Diem 

Russ: Diem, I feel weird giving you shit cause you had cancer, but grow up.  You might have gotten a vote into the elimination.  It happens.

Come On, Seriously?:

1. Preston & Knight 

Russ:  DQ’d three weeks in a row?!?!? TJ called ya’ll pitiful.

Michelle:

2. Cooke & Cara Maria 

Russ:  OF COURSE YOU SHOCK YOUR OWN NIPPLES CARA MARIA.  Paula was right.  Cara Maria is totally the girl who was not invited to the party, but then heard about it and came anyway and no one liked it.

Michelle:  Cooke, I like you but that was SO DUMB. You have a better chance of getting TJ voted off before Diem. If you had picked any other target, you would have had a fighting chance of changing the vote.

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. NO ONE

Russ: I feel like TJ and TJ alone made this happen.  So smart.  Don’t send another group home, especially after Trashelle effed things up last week.

I was prepared to change up the rankings this week, but TJ’s surprise made that relatively pointless.  After this week, I think they’ll have been equitable time to get a new ranking put together.  But seriously people, don’t sleep on Marlon and Jordan.  They are playing this game the right way (which usually doesn’t work), and they seem to be good dudes.

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