Predicting Top Sports Headlines in 2016

2016 should be another great year in sports. The future is certainly unpredictable and I am no Nostradamus. I would be shocked if a lot of these guesses happen but here we go.

College Football

1. Roll Dynasty Roll: Alabama Beats Clemson 31-17 to win BCS National Championship, Bama’s 4^th Title in 7 Years

Nick Saban cracks a brief smile after the Crimson Tide win another championship. When asked about the historic accomplishment of winning 4 National Championships in 7 years at Alabama, his first remarks are to complain about being behind on recruiting because of spending two weeks to prepare and play in the championship game.

NFL

1. Peyton Manning Rides into the Sunset: Denver Broncos defeat Arizona Cardinals 16-15 to win Super Bowl 50

Super Bowl 50 is an epic defensive struggle that comes down to the final minute. Down 16-9, Carson Palmer drives the Cardinals 80 yards for a touchdown pass to Larry Fitzgerald to make it 16-15. Cardinals kicker, Chandler Catanzaro, misses the game tying extra point to send the game into overtime for the first time in Super Bowl history. The NFL runs marketing for the next year about how moving the extra point further back has made the extra point exciting. Peyton Manning wins the second Super Bowl in his legendary career and immediately announces his retirement after the game mirroring the end of John Elway’s career.

2. Tennessee Titans Hire Chip Kelly as Head Coach to reunite him with QB Marcus Mariota

Of course they do. Of course he does.

3. Dallas Cowboys sign Johnny Manziel minutes after he is released by the Cleveland Browns

Again, of course they do and of course he does.

Johnny Football goes to Las Vegas to celebrate joining the Cowboys while simultaneously tweeting a picture of him in Texas to hide his whereabouts. In the picture, he is in a Texas A&M uniform… throwing a pass against Alabama.

4. New York Giants WR Odell Beckham Jr. Attends a Yankees Game and Sucker Punches David Ortiz

In explaining his actions, Beckham notes that Ortiz brought a bat to the game.

5. Jerry Jones Holds another Press Conference to defend Johnny Manziel and… Dallas Cowboys Go 13-3 to Win the NFC East

More questions are asked about the Cowboys backup quarterback than every other Cowboy combined. Jerry Jones adamantly backs Manziel throughout the season despite numerous off field indiscretions. I guess if it is easier than defending Greg Hardy.

College Basketball

1. Michigan State defeats Maryland 72-65 to Win NCAA Tournament, Tom Izzo Wins Second National Championship

I do not start following college basketball until about… March. Nevertheless, I see Michigan State is the top ranked team and I have the utmost respect for Tom Izzo as a coach. Unfortunately, I saw the headline that his father just passed away. Izzo is a gentleman and an incredible basketball coach so I will definitely root for him this year.

Tennis

1. Serena Williams Follows Up her Title at Wimbledon and Wins Again at the US Open for her 23^rd Major Championship to Pass Stefi Graf, Now One Behind Margaret Court

Despite a slow start to the Majors in 2016 not winning the Australian Open or French Open, Serena rallies to win Wimbledon to tie Stefi Graf at 22 Majors. Serena also takes care of business at the US Open to win her 23^rd Major to pass Graf and now only trails Margaret Court by 1 for the most Majors all-time.

2. Novak Djokovic Follows Up Australian Open Win by Finally Winning French Open to Complete the Career Grand Slam, 2^nd Major of the Year and 12^th of his Career

Djokovic continues his domination of the sport of tennis by winning the first two Majors of the year. The French Open has been the most elusive Major during his Career since he has never won it and lost in the Finals three times (including a difficult loss to Stan Wawrinka in 2015 despite being a heavy favorite). Djokovic finishes the job in 2016 and completes the career Grand Slam [winning all four Majors] to join Rod Laver, Andre Agassi, Roger Federer, and Rafael Nadal as the only male tennis players to accomplish the feat.

3. Third Times a Charm: Roger Federer Wins 8^th Career Wimbledon and 18 Career Grand Slam

At 34 years young, Federer advances to his third straight Wimbledon and wins after losing the previous two years to Novak Djokovic. It is another unthinkable accomplishment in an incredible career. He also sets the record for most SABR shots [Sneak Attack by Roger] in a Wimbledon tournament.

4. Spain’s Garbiñe Muguruza wins French Open for First Career Grand Slam

Murguruza arrived as one of the best young female players in tennis when she advanced to the Wimbledon Final and lost to Serena Williams in 2015. She wins the French Open to take the lead as the female player most likely to take the torch from Serena.

NBA

1. Lebron James Ends Cleveland’s 5 Decade Championship Drought: Cleveland Cavaliers Defeat San Antonio Spurs in 6 Games

Lebron James is named the NBA Finals MVP after averaging a triple double in the series. Kyrie Irving scores 40 points in the series clinching Game 6. Cleveland ends its long pro sports championship drought.

2. Despite Winning 70 Games in the Regular Season, the Golden State Warriors fall in 6 Games to the San Antonio Spurs

The Spurs win the series behind the defensive brilliance of Kawhi Leonard who hounds Steph Curry down the stretch of each game.

3. Kobe Bryant and the US Men’s National Team Wins Gold Medal in Brazil

After Kobe suffers through the Los Angeles Lakers being one of the worst teams in the NBA, the Men’s National Team sends Kobe off in a much more fitting manner by winning the gold medal at the Olympics.

4. Kobe Hits Game Winning Fadeaway Jumper to Win the NBA All-Star Game

In his final All-Star Game, Kobe Bryant hits a game winning fadeaway jumper in the final minute to win the NBA All-Star Game for the Western Conference. Kobe is named the MVP of the game. In Michael Jordan’s final All-Star Game when he played for the Washington Wizards, the East force fed him the ball to try to make him the hero and MVP of the game. He hit a go ahead fadeaway jumper with 4.8 seconds left in overtime. However, Kobe Bryant was fouled on a three point attempt. He hit two out of three free throws to send the game to a second overtime and the West won the game. After the game, Kobe admitted he was conflicted about hitting the free throws. History is slightly different this time around.

5. Boston Celtics Draft Ben Simmons, LSU, with 1^st Pick of NBA Draft

The Celtics win the draft lottery via the Brooklyn Nets and draft Ben Simmons first overall.

The Philadelphia 76ers get the second pick overall. Due to this setback, GM Sam Hinkie announces another 5 year plan and asks fans to continue to trust in the process.

MLB

1. Even Year Dynasty: San Francisco Giants Defeat Cleveland Indians in 6 Games to Win World Series

It is a lock since it is an even year for the San Francisco. It is their 4^th straight World Series title in an even year.

2. Los Angeles Dodgers Trade For Miami Marlins Ace Jose Fernandez

Dodgers trade for the young Marlins ace in a mega package that includes top prospect, left handed pitcher Julio Urias and star outfielder Yasiel Puig.

3. DraftKings, FanDuel hire Pete Rose as Spokesman

In an effort to win public support that daily fantasy sports is a game of skill and not gambling, Draftkings and Fanduel hire Pete Rose as a spokesman. In his first press conference as the spokesman, he assures the public that he has never played daily fantasy.

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