The Challenge: Free Agents Recap #6

The Challenge: Free Agents Recap #6

the-challenge-season-25-free-agents

The episode began with Theresa’s dumbass regretting not voting in Laurel and putting an unnecessary target on her back.  Then we shift to Jonna’s birthday! Typically drinky drinky until Jordan steps into a bit a shitstorm named CT.  Word to the wise, don’t tell CT to shut up. About anything. Ever.

Challenge #6: Smarty Pants

Finally an individual challenge.  It was a quiz show type challenge like we’ve seen in many years past, split between a girls and guys round.  Each person was hung on a structure by a rope and asked questions.  If they got a question wrong, they got an X.  If they got two wrong, they were out, and dropped into a lake.  Standard stuff.   The first four losers of both genders were sent right to the draw.  The first go round for the dudes did not look pretty.  CT, Zach and Swift were the only ones to get their first round Q’s right.  Dude these questions were easy.  Leroy made all black people in the world look REAL bad.  Portland and Jordan later joined Leroy in the second round.  CT lost in the third round making him the last male to hit The Draw.  The final round MIRACULOUSLY was Swift and Zach.  Zachy boy got a big win.

The first round for the ladies sent Camila into IMMEDIATE tears.  The women put on as similarly shitty of a show as the dudes, and Camila was the first Draw entrant for the ladies, followed by Aneesa in the second round.  The third round saw Jessica and finally Nany,  join The Draw.   The glee that TJ expressed sending people to their doom was honestly brilliant.  Eventually Devyn outlasted the competition and got sole control over who to vote in.

The Vote/The Draw

The best part of this weeks vote in, was that Zach and Devyn had exclusive control over it.  This was the game-changing I was looking for when Free Agents was announced!  Zach made no bones about voting in Swift because he’s the been the worst male competitor and that’s what I like to see.  Devyn had agreements with other ladies that only left her with Laurel and Theresa (Theresa being her friend).  Laurel argued the case that Theresa was dumb for making that power move and backing out of it, stating that Theresa is playing dirty.  She then brought out her personal kill-list to show Devyn.  When the votes actually happened Zach stuck to his word saying Swift and then Swift is a nobody, and that makes me like Zach more.  Devyn also votes in Swift.  Devyn voted in Theresa like an absolute boss.  Devyn has made power moves this week.  In The Draw, Jordan drew the kill card and made his way to the big dance along with Camila.

Elimination #6: Tug of War 

Hell yes.  Watching Nia and Cara Maria do this a few weeks back makes its return feel special as fug.

Jordan vs. Swift: Not even a competition.  Jordan made extremely light work Swift’s dumb ass, and earned me some much-needed fantasy elimination win points.  Nice work buddy.

Camila vs. Theresa: These girls were pretty evenly matched and it looked like it could go either way early.  I don’t know what happened to Camila halfway  through because she pretty much quit conceding to Theresa who won, without having to use all of her earthly energy.

Men’s Rankings

1. C.T

Russ:  To quote Omar from The Wire, “If you come at the King, you best not miss”.  I love how quick CT was to tell Jordan to sign a release so he could punch his face in. 

2. Zach

Russ: Yo son, you’re a Sleeping Beauty fan too?  We should hang out at the next Disney Princess-Con. 

3.Leroy

Russ:  Poor showing this week.

4. Jordan

Russ:  I like you bro, but NEVER go at CT.  Wise move to shut your mouth. 

5. Cohutta

Russ: All this guy did this week was throw all of the shade in the world about everyone in the challenge like he won it.  

6. Bananas

Russ:  Cool it with the  Jordan hand jokes maybe?

7. Preston

Russ: First week ever where Prestonian didn’t have to deal with getting picked last so that was nice. 

8. Johnny (Portland)

Russ: Radio silence on this guy…I’d like to give him credit that he’s playing Devyn’s game, but I know he’s not. 

 

Women’s Rankings

1. Laurel

Russ: Ok Laurel.  I feel like you might actually have a kill list and that’s something we should talk about right?

2. Cara Maria

Russ: Thinking Muhammad Ali’s real name is Mahatma Gandhi.  Girl…

3. Theresa

Russ: She may have gotten the win, but now you have Laurel breathing down your neck each week.  Good luck with that. 

4. Nany

Russ: Nany…do I really need to tell you why I’m disappointed. 

5. Devyn

Russ: It’s taken me a while to notice it, but Devyn’s game of flying under the radar, is working beautifully.  her name NEVER comes up, AND she wins the Challenge.  Nice work playa and nice work moving up the board!

6. Jessica

Russ: Hopefully she’s learned the lesson to just shut up and let the vets not realize you’re even there. 

7. Aneesa

Russ:  After all these years, resorting to cheap make out parlor tricks for screentime.  Go HOME. 

8. Jonna

Russ: There is no way on earth you were going to win a competition that didn’t require flirting like a 14 year old girl. 

GOODBYE LOSERS:

1. Swift

Russ:  “I’m easily top three dudes in the house” HAHAHAHAHAHA

2. Camila

Russ: It was really weird to see Camila quit.  I don’t know what happened to her fire in that elimination, but crying, on Camila, is not a good look unless booze is involved. 

We’re officially at the halfway point and there are no certainties really on the board.  Bananas might be too old to make it to the end, Jordan has lost quite a bit this season, and Zach or Leroy haven’t really strung together enough victories to get there.  On the women’s end, Laurel is the obvious choice, but the way Cara Maria’s played, she might be a real dark horse to take the whole thing.

About Russ Stevens

Russ Stevens is an editor and writer at Rookerville and a guidance counselor at Nyack HS. He mostly writes about either loving or hating things. In his spare time, he performs Improv comedy with his troupe Priest and The Beekeeper and is a co-producer of their monthly variety show Pig Pile. He loves all the New York sports teams that are historically bad, and he hates lateness more than anything in the world.

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