The State of The Challenge Rivals II: Week Eleven
We’re getting close to the end and the heat is on. Diem and Aneesa fittingly went home, and the house was granted a drama reprieve before the final challenge. As we’ve seen the last few seasons, the show becomes very different when the final challenge comes up. Basically all that drama and bullshit (that we love) doesn’t matter anymore. The only thing that matters is conquering the challenge itself. The last few have pushed the envelope of difficulty and safety, and it appears as though TJ wouldn’t have it any other way this time around. We only got to see the first part of the challenge, so we’ll have to wait to see who REALLY steps up. Also, two teams will be going home before seeing the full challenge. That being said…
The State of The Challengers
The Finalists
1. Paula & Emily
Russ: Saying that anyone deserves anything on a show about adult babies who drink, fight, fuck, and lie to each other for my enjoyment, seems kinda weird. That being said, these broads deserve to win as much as anyone with no discernable real life skills deserves to win anything.
Michelle:
2. CT & Wes
Russ: CT had maybe one of the most prescient analogies last week. He compared himself to Dan Marino, arguably the best QB to never win a superbowl. I’m sure no one in the demo of The Challenge, got that reference, but I loved it.
Michelle: It’s hard to predict if these two will choke in the finals again (a la Wes in Rivals I and CT in Exes). Considering all the crap they talked to Johnny all season, I sure hope not.
3. Cooke & Cara Maria
Russ: I can already hear the chants, “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!” Too bad I hate that movie.
Michelle: I love an underdog story as much as Cara Maria loves electric nipple tazers. Translation: I love an underdog story A
LOT. Keep it up!
4. Jordan & Marlon
Russ: I want to see rookie champs! (even though neither of you are on my fantasy challenge team)
Michelle: Dear Lord, please don’t be the two who capsized.
5. Johnny & Frank
Russ: I hope your boat capsized. Johnny doesn’t deserve (there goes that word again) to 3 peat.
Michelle: Dear Lord I hope it was you two who capsized.
GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!
1. Aneesa & Diem
Russ: Thank christ. I’ve never soured faster on a team in my life. Aneesa is too old to be on these challenges and Diem is fake as a mofucka, so I don’t like that either. I’m glad they went home with Diem being the reason. POOF. BE GONE.
Michelle: I sure hope Diem knows the Heimlich maneuver, because that girl is the biggest choke artist I’ve ever seen.
2. Camila & Jemmye
Russ: This ended up being my favorite ladies team, but lets face it, they dumb. A puzzle so close to the beginning of the final challenge was all I needed to know to know these girls were done.
Michelle: Non surprising loss. Glad we got that out of the way quickly so we can focus on the final two who have a shot at winning.
About Russ Stevens
Russ Stevens is an editor and writer at Rookerville and a guidance counselor at Nyack HS. He mostly writes about either loving or hating things. In his spare time, he performs Improv comedy with his troupe Priest and The Beekeeper and is a co-producer of their monthly variety show Pig Pile. He loves all the New York sports teams that are historically bad, and he hates lateness more than anything in the world.