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Posted by on Jul 10, 2013 in Russ Stevens, Television, Uncategorized | 0 comments

The Challenge: Rivals II Scouting Report

 

Well ladies and gentlemen, America’s favorite reality-sporting competition is back tonight at 10pm on MTV.  That’s right.  The Challenge is back and this year, it looks like CT just might make good on his promise to eat someones internal organs.  I know MTV mostly has crap on these days, and that Road Rules and Real World are either off the air, or terrible now, but something about the chemistry of a good Challenge, ensures that you will have a good time watching.  One thing that has happened over the recent iterations is that the stakes have grown higher.  Now teams/individuals earn amounts of money that can actually alter their lives, and they also have to perform challenges that are terrifying.  This season you can expect even more of that, plus that good old-fashioned drunk drama you can’t get enough of.  It’s a Rivals season, so the teams will be more volatile than ever considering the pairings hate each other.  This will be my 3rd season participating in a Challenge fantasy league, and my draft was earlier this week, so now is as perfect time as any to give a scouting report of the teams as I see them going into this season.

Front Runners: 

1. CT & Wes – The heart-eater and the self-proclaimed master manipulator on ONE team?  If they can get along (which you’ll see me write a lot), they have the best path to victory.  CT is actually a sub-human, and Wes, outside of last seasons early exit is always around until the end.  The last Rivals season, he made it to the finals with Kenny, before bitching out completely, so he’ll have a lot to prove.  CT is CT, so I don’t think I need to say anything else.  As long as he is focused on the prize money and not drama (teehee) with Diem, they’ll be at the finals on his strength alone.

2. Frank & Johnny Bananas – If you look at the history of actually winning challenges, this should be the team to beat.  No one has won more challenges in recent history than Johnny, and Frank just might be the leader the of new school.  In terms of skill, both are usually good in the challenges, but never the best.  Where they excel is in the political nature of the game.  However, Johnny and Frank symbolize two different eras of the challenge, neither of which respect each other.  Frank won last season, because he turned the tables on the vets and their established alliances.  Can he figure out a way to not be a psycho and get along with Johnny?  If they combined political forces they have an automatic bid to the finals.

3. Paula & Emily – The perfect blend of political skill and physical skill.  They are by far the team to beat on the women’s end, and I think their rivalry might not be AS strong as some of the others, so they might have a clear path to victory.  The only thing I can remember is that Emily stupidly put on Nutella-face (a poor man’s black face) to make fun of Ty and Paula’s odd relationship last season on Battle of The Seasons.  She was jealous, but never owned up to it.  I think it was the kind of transgression that gets cleaned up in a reunion.  I can’t see how they don’t make it to the finals.  Also, Paula is a challenge possum.  She’s never impressive, and you think she sucks, but she always finds a way to survive.

4. Camila & Jemmye –  I think this is one of the more unbalanced pairings, but where it is strong it is STRONG.  Camila is tough.  She’s crazy. She’s strong. She’s unintelligible.  She’s almost like a foreign-girl CT type.  When she blows up, it’s really bad for everyone involved.  Jemmye, does not have a lot of challenge experience, so I can’t say she’s bad.  If she just falls in line, they’ll make it far.  I know they hate each other from last season, but that was heavily alcohol-induced.  What are the odds they get drunk and fight again? I’m kidding.  They’ll fight for sure, but hopefully Camila or Jemmye can make themselves some friends.  I see them being an elimination powerhouse team.  Getting sent in multiple times and winning.  There’s a place for teams like that.

Tough Competitors:

1.Leroy & Ty – If the prior category wasn’t called Front Runners, I’d have these guys there.  I think they stand a great chance to really make some headway in the Challenge.  Leroy has become a veteran fairly quickly, and his pure strength and likability should keep this team afloat in the early going.  Of course your only as strong as your teammate.  In Ty, you have a great competitor who has stepped it up in the most recent challenge.  By settling down and not stirring up as much shit, Ty has proven he’s got real potential to be a force.  However, I have to go on history and assume that, at some point, Ty will do/say something that breaks this team up and gets them sent into an elimination.

2. Zach & Trey – The biggest meathead and the biggest douchebag on one team?  This is not going to be pretty.  I never saw these guys to have any real drama, but I guess they hate each other on twitter.  Anyway, I think neither of these two are the types to back down to another guy who doesn’t like them, so if they are able to channel their dislike of each other into the competition they’ll do well.  On pure ability alone, I think they are one of the stronger teams.  Zach is the strongest man, and Trey probably isn’t a slouch either.  Just as long as Trey’s shit attitude keeps itself in check, they should be able to fall into some sort of alliance with Johnny and Frank and make it far.

3. Sarah & Trishelle –  I don’t like either of them, but they are poor man’s paulas in that, they always stick around longer than you expect. Sarah is obnoxious in thinking she’s so good at puzzles and thinking she’s actually a nice person.  Trishelle is annoying in the sense that she’s probably way too old to be acting as young as she pretends to be.  But they both step it up just when you think they are going home.  They wont make any waves for a while, so they are safe till at least the midway I’d think.  Plus I think they have one of the more MTV manufactured Rivalries, so they’ll probably get along just fine-ish.  I do love that Trishelle said she doesn’t buy Sarah’s act.  She’s totally fake.  However that’s not a reason to perform.

4. Jasmine & Theresa – Remember a few seasons ago when Jasmine went crazy town for like the first time?  Blame Theresa.  She was the cause.  I can’t even remember why, but these guys hated each other.  They are similar in that both of them take things to the next level, but if either of them has calmed down a bit, they should be good to make it far.  They are not the most naturally skilled, but they both have been there enough and know how to play the game.

Long Shots: 

1. Jordan & Marlon – this is the first challenge for both of them, but I think they’ll continue last seasons mold of rookies doing well.  Jordan and Marlon don’t like each other, but I don’t think it’s as pronounced as it might have been during Real World Portland.  Both I think are up for the physical part.  Jordan and Marlon are both athletes and will have no problem doing well in challenges, I just worry that they wont make any friends fast enough.  Marlon is an under the radar guy which can mean elimination-bait, and Jordan is a rookie who will probably get under SOMEONE’S skin.  I think they will have bright challenge futures.

2. Robb & Derek –  I don’t think this team has an especially high ceiling, but if they luck out here and there on the type of challenge chosen, they will do ok.  I don’t see them winning a whole lot, but I think they are ok enough to not go home right away.  Derek, I think will be the stronger competitor here, and will likely make more friends along the way.  I don’t have a ton of faith of Robb, but I also haven’t seen a lot either.

3. Jonna & Nany – Jonna typically goes as far as the guy she is hooking up with takes her.  Her style has usually been to align herself with a dude, which I’m not a huge fan of.  Nany is still fairly new, but I think she’s got the right amount of fire to really bring something to this pairing.  She doesn’t like Jonna more than Jonna doesn’t like her, so we’ll see if Nany can direct that temper elsewhere, or if Jonna gets the brunt of it.  Jonna doesn’t have a man going into this challenge, but that doesn’t last long.

4. Aneesa & Diem – I almost feel like I’m cheating on my challenge friends having vets like this so far down, but I just don’t see it for them. Aneesa has literally NEVER been good, and Diem is just coming off of, oh you know, Cancer, so I just don’t know if they’ll be able to keep it together long enough to make a deep run.  They have always been midrange talents, but now they are at the other end of their challenge careers, so who knows if they step it up, or fade into obscurity.

Come On, Seriously?:

1. Preston & Knight – This might be the worst pairing of men in the history of the challenge.  They hate each other, they aren’t good at anything, and they have no political power.  If they make it past the first or second episode, I’m as shocked as anyone.

2. Dunbar & Tyrie –  These guys are the biggest wastes of potential in the history of the challenge.  I don’t know that they go home right away, but neither of these guys has ever been able to take their size and strength and do anything productive with it.  They are better than Knight and Preston in a physical challenge, but not much else.

3. Cooke & Naomi/Cara Maria – Naomi does not have an athletic bone in her body and I guess will only be on one episode.  Cooke played soccer in college.  They might as well both be rookies. They don’t like each other. Bye!

4. Anastasia & Jessica – They don’t really dislike each other as much as some of these other teams, but I just don’t see how they stick around outside of getting allied up real quick.  Ana doesn’t look like she can do much, and neither does Jessica.  I predict an early exit for these two.

 

So there you have it!  That’s my “expert” opinion on The Challenge this season.  Remember, upsets happen.  Some of these bottom tier teams will make it far, and some of the top tier teams will not.  Hookups can change the dynamic drastically, as can alcohol.  I took little of that into consideration when making my power rankings.  We’ll see if I was even close to right when the season starts tonight.   The only thing I am 100% sure of is that host TJ Lavin will be awesome as always, and the final challenge will be just as hard to watch as it is to compete in.

 

About Russ Stevens

Russ Stevens is an editor and writer at Rookerville and a guidance counselor at Nyack HS. He mostly writes about either loving or hating things. In his spare time, he performs Improv comedy with his troupe Priest and The Beekeeper and is a co-producer of their monthly variety show Pig Pile. He loves all the New York sports teams that are historically bad, and he hates lateness more than anything in the world.

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