By this time next week, your rec center is gonna be a parking lot!
“By this time next week, your rec center is gonna be a parking lot!”
In the last few days. I’ve turned into the villain of an eighties teeny bopper flick. I never thought I’d have much in common with the blond haired, blue eyed rich kid named Chad whose father is a wealthy land developer and knows the mayor, but sure enough, here I sit. I didn’t even mean to be in the position. But, as with most, eighties teeny bopper flicks, it all started with a girl.
Kalli and I have a history. One that goes all the way back to high school (we’re in our 30’s now). We had a brief dalliance and moved on with our lives. Recently, we reconnected and I came to discover that I had to have her. I didn’t have much say in the matter, really. We started talking. I looked at her. I decided that she had to be mine.
I started slowly, dropping hints about her looks, about her tastes, laughing too hard at any semblance of humor. I paid for all her meals and treated for all the movies. I took things up a bit by inviting her to Valentines Day early and kissed her in the park.
Then, I laid it all out.
I told her that I wanted her. I told her that I was ready. I told her that I would take care of her. I told her that we would be a good match.
She told me that she was seeing someone.
Here’s where I discovered that I was the villain in his story.
Domingo had a rough upbringing. From the projects in the Bronx, he learned to raise himself without a father. When things looked rough for friends and family, he wasn’t afraid to let his fists find a temporary solution. And when it looked like his mother was going to be put out on the street, he braved the consequences, at her suggestion, with less legal ways to make money. Sadly, one bad idea leads to another and before Domingo knew it, he was paying hard time for an unfortunate youth. He let bad friends and manipulative family suggest short-term solutions that ended up having long time consequences.
Finally, Domingo said ‘No more.’
Upon his release, he recognized the good friends from the moochers, his true loved ones from the blood bonds that saw him as a means to an end. He moved away from his bad influences. He got his degree and a job that could Sheppard him away from his past. He read books, watched movies, listened to new music, and evolved his own culture of understanding beyond those presented him early on. He learned how to function in a larger community far removed from the bleak affront he was born with.
Domingo saw Kalli on a train. He was struck to the soul and had to talk to her. They talked, and they started seeing each other. He was in love and let it be known.
Somewhere during that phase is when I started to take my chance on Kalli.
What she thought was a friendly flirt turned out to be a calculated grab. I reminded her that we came from the same place. I reminded her that Domingo had a criminal past. I reminded her that I could take care of her financially and he probably couldn’t. I implored her that we would make an excellent couple, something that really had legs.
Whether I knew she was dating someone or not (she hinted but never outright said) is immaterial. From an eighties movie story telling perspective, I’m the bad guy. The poor kid from the projects that never caught a break, dragged himself up by his bootstraps and finally made something of himself is the hero. Out of nowhere, he met a girl that he would never meet where he came from. A strange beautiful girl who didn’t know about his past, and when he told her, she didn’t care. It was someone who he fell in love with and represented a life he never thought he could have. Then, the evil suitor comes along. The snotty upper class kid from the suburbs: his parents sent him to college, he takes trips to Europe, he’s got a fancy job in TV, and, even though Kalli and Domingo were dating and somewhat happy, he decided that he Domingo wasn’t good enough for her.
Kalli told me she had to think. About everything.
When I laid all my cards on the table for Kalli the other night, I thought I was the best friend in a 90’s romcom. I had developed feelings over time that were genuine, and I really thought that if she looked deep down inside, she’d realize that she had those feelings too. The plight of the crushing best friend is a good story. But, the plight of the struggling minority trying to make good on a life of bad choices is better. We’re both the villains in each other’s story, but from all the angles that I can see, I’m the worse villain of a more poignant film trope.
Kalli loves stories. And she’s a child of the 80’s. When we were in high school we watched ‘Better Off Dead” together and she had a poster of ‘Say Anything’ on her wall. And now she has to decide who the right guy is for her.
If you ask me, I’m the better choice. He’s a guy with a violent criminal history, prone to rash decisions with long-term ramifications. I’m the friend who has always been there for her and has a much more stable lifestyle. If you ask him, Domingo has spent a second lifetime paying for early mistakes and making good on promises to himself, and he’s shown he can move beyond. Now, he has a chance to reinvent himself permanently with a mysterious woman he fell in love with at first site. He’s not saying he’s he better choice, he’s just asking for her to take a chance.
No matter choice she makes, one story is a lot more compelling than the other.
This is the only time ever that I’ve wanted my life to be less like a movie.