Awkward Extra’s Scenes Can’t Be Cut Says Director

Las_Meninas._Movie_Set_2

 

Director Neil Danson showed up to the set of his feature film on Monday with no intention of giving one extra any legitimate screentime, but his hopes were crushed as he reviewed the footage.

“There’s just no way to take him out,” he said. “It’s just awful because he’s so fucking awkward.”

The entire production team is baffled at how the extra wound up in the shots, chalking it up to a ton of handjobs, but nobody has come forward admitting anything.

“Word around the set is he gives good handjobs, like unbelievably good handjobs. Not that I know anything about it” said production assistant Dyson James who asked not to be quoted.

The crew went on to say they tried everything, literally everything in post.

“It’s just such a damn shame” continued Neil. “I mean, there’s so many people out there with MORE talent than this guy. I’ve tried cropping him out, digitally removing him, using one of the other cameras, but the guy’s just in too much for me to cut him.”

Apparently, bad extras are an epidemic in the film and television industry, with everyone from directors, producers, writers, and talent actors in agreement.

The area man, who will go unnamed, because at least the director can do that, will be the awkward guy you see, acting unnaturally in various scenes, and he can be seen running awkwardly, removing things from a table awkwardly, and crossing the street in a way that will make you EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

“Brace yourself” said Danson, as he discussed the details of the episode. “We’ve literally tried everything. I’m legitimately sorry you have to see his work.”

The film is set for a limited release this Friday in some artsy movie houses, and Danson insists it’s still worth seeing.

“Honestly, just close your eyes for those five awful seconds, and you should be fine.”

 

Please be aware that this a piece of satire. In no way does this report any actual news.  Actually there were no details so I’m not sure how you could’ve thought this was news.  Will has a lot of experience on-set for movies and television (one might even call him an “on-set correspondent”) and likes to make light of some common issues he comes across when is there.  Hope  you enjoyed his take on the annoying extra. 

About Will Ruff

Will Ruff is a writer for Rookerville from Austin, Texas, where he fails at launching startups, writing books, recording music, and otherwise. He's a raconteur at heart and filmophile and soon-to-be self-published author.

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