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Posted by on Jul 31, 2013 in Main Course, Michelle Tully, Russ Stevens, Television | 0 comments

The State of The Challenge Rivals II: Week Three Recap

The-Challenge-Rivals-II

There’s a saying: You fight for the guy who’s standing next to you.  I don’t know if it’s a saying, but it’s a line Mark Wahlberg utters in every commercial for 2 Guns ( in theaters this Friday).  I hate saying things like “The Challenge is really starting to heat up,” but the fact of the matter is that it is.  This week we saw emotions run high before the Challenge itself when Knight made a mostly unfunny, partially insensitive comment about Marlon’s sexuality (he’s bi!).  This was the first real action Marlon’s seen on the show, so kudos to him for showing up when the camera needed him to.  He also hooks up TWICE in this episode.  Awesome move.  THEN, before people can even stop and reflect on what just transpired, Aneesa and Trishelle (aka: Old Dogs.  Or Wild Hogs), get into a fight that makes literally no sense and Trishelle goes home, kicking her partner Sarah out as well.  The Challenge itself was Emily and Paula winning yet again (christ), and Frank and Johnny finally getting in the win column.  The women’s side is all but locked up, but I think this is honestly any man’s game on the male team end (not counting Preston and Knight).

The State of The Challengers

Front Runners 

1. CT & Wes 

Michelle:  Why aren’t you winning challenges yet?  It defies logic that CT did better with Adam than he is doing with Wes.

 

2. Johnny & Frank

Russ: Johnny and Frank finally win one and Frank of course takes all the credit.  Him continually calling a guy who is like 5 years older than him, an old man, is getting old (but maybe that’s my own sensitivity to turning 30).

Michelle: Frank’s assertion that he pushed Johnny to the finish line was not even an exaggeration, it was just an outright lie.  It doesn’t even make physical sense- if you push someone who is balanced on ropes 30 feet above the water, they will fall, not move faster along the ropes.

 

3. Paula & Emily 

Russ: Moving right along…

Michelle: Are Denzel and Chris Pine chasing them off screen? Cause these bitches are Unstoppable.

4. Camila & Jemmye 

Russ:  I’m disappointed in Camila and Jemmye this season.  They haven’t gotten out of the middle of the pack really at all.  We all know who’s winning on the girl end, but these guys should at least be challenging!

 

Tough Competitors

1.Leroy & Ty 

Russ: Do something this season.  ANYTHING!  I don’t like a subdued Ty at all. At least hookup with Paula so you can get a sniff of victory.  No likey middle of the road teams.

2. Zach & Trey 

Russ: They’ve finally come down to earth.  Still a tough team though.

Michelle: As soon as there is a challenge that requires skill from both teammates, Zach and Trey don’t win.  Coincidence?

3. Sarah & Trishelle 

Russ: I’m happy all around for their early exit.  Trishelle is proof positive that The Challenge is no place for an over the hill, old, drunk, slut, mess of a woman.  Oh wait. It is? Shit.  COME BACK TRISHELLE (but seriously, don’t)!  Also Sarah, I don’t care if people think you’re so great, I know the real Sarah (I don’t) and I don’t trust you.  Go play with one of those 1000 piece puzzles, ya FREAK!

 

 

4. Jasmine & Theresa 

Russ: Another team I’m disappointed in.  For Jasmine to have not done anything utterly obnoxious or alcohol fueled is disconcerting.  Get into it!

Michelle:  Is Jasmine trying to lose her Tiniest Crazy award?  I want to support her new emotional growth, but at the same time….let’s see some of that crazy!

 

Long Shots

1. Jordan & Marlon 

Russ:  I know I have them in the Long Shots category, but I think these two are dangerously close to becoming fan favorites, which can only ever bode well for their time in the game.  Marlon’s bi-sexuality is the bossest shit around.  Makes me wish I liked dudes too he’s so cool at being bi (that sounds awful)!  Jordan and Sarah’s little tryst might have turned him into one of the Challenge good guys too.

Michelle: Marlon’s opening people’s eyes regarding sexuality and Jordan is now free of The Puzzler, so I’m expecting good things from this team.

 

2. Jonna & Nany 

Russ:  Jonna’s probably gonna fuck Marlon next episode because Nany made out with him.

Michelle: At least we’re finally seeing some action with these two.  I just wish it was on-field action instead of off-field boning.

 

3. Aneesa & Diem 

Russ: Aneesa, way to fight like a young buck!  You’ve coasted the last few years being old, but uninteresting.  Seeing her fight Trishelle was like being in a time warp of 2004.  Awesome.

 

Come On, Seriously?:

1. Preston & Knight 

Russ:  Knight, if you’re gonna be as much of an idiot as you are, be strong.  You’d get beaten in a fight by every guy in the house (sans Preston), so you should probably keep your mouth shut.  You sucked in your Challenge too.

Michelle: I didn’t find Knight’s joke to be offensive so much in its content, and more so in just how unfunny it was.  P.S. dude your teammate is gay and over sensitive so maybe don’t?

 

2. Cooke & Cara Maria 

Russ:  I’m sure you’ll be gone next.

 

 

GOODBYE YOU LOSERS!

1. Derek & Robb

Russ:  It’s a shame, but these guys are proof you don’t get anything for being nice enough guys.  You have to have friends in The Challenge, and sadly these guys didn’t have enough.  I’m sure both will be back, but they have to get into an alliance next time.  At least Derek got a lil Marlon as a parting gift.

Michelle: I’m only interested in their elimination to see what it means for Jonna and Nany. Although I want them to do well, I would also be interested to see them in an elimination cause I think they could surprise the cast and kick some ass.

 

After this next week, I think a 1/3rd of the way re-seeding will be in order.  Some favorites up to this point have been underwhelming, and some up and comers have been impressive.  If Cooke and Cara Maria make it to next week, I’ll be surprised as anyone.

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