Don’t lie- you do it. Everybody does it. You walk onto the subway,you take a look around, and then you choose who you want to fuck, marry or date (depending on the day). You’re looking around and then BOOM you spot him and oh my god he’s so cute. Look at how nice that watch is. He must be in finance or maybe he is the CEO of some really cool innovative company and he doesn’t really pay himself well now but he knows he’ll have the last laugh in the end. He’s not balding, that’s a good sign but I guess it doesn’t matter anyway because balding comes from the mother’s side which if that’s true my boys are fucked. Okay let’s check his left hand- all clear and we are good to go. Wow, he is really put together for it being 95 degrees, that’s impressive. I bet he picks out his own clothing and just recently became attractive so he’s still humble. I hope he gets off at my stop, I can’t believe how tight his ass is, he must work out. He probably wakes up early before work to go to the gym. He seems motivated like that. Oh fuck, he’s getting off, quick do something so he notices you and you fall in love and ha… He’s left. He’s gone and you’re a little upset because you guys really could have been great together.
This my friends, is what we call the “classroom effect” which by the way is not a real term, I made it up and if it already exists I won’t be upset but I’d appreciate it if someone could just let me know. The “classroom effect” is something we have all experienced. You’re in class, and you look around and you determine who you think is the best option for you and let’s be honest, most of the time this is based solely on looks. You find your target and then you start to develop a little crush on him as the semester carries on. Your class ends and then you see him walking around campus and you barely look twice. This, is the “classroom effect” and you’re just working with what you’ve got at that moment. The “classroom effect” puts it into perspective for you and sometimes if there aren’t really any attractive men around, you take the nerdy guy who you daydream about giving a “She’s All That” makeover to and you make it work. Well if we lose the jean cargo shorts, cut your hair, and put you in some good shoes, I think we’d have a really handsome man. Of course, I’d probably have to teach you how to be a boyfriend but I’ve done that before and it’s not so tough. Constructive criticism is good and will help build your character. This doesn’t just apply to the classroom, but will also find it’s way into your life and work.
Nana always says “don’t shit where you eat” and I agree with her. But when you’re spending 40+ hours with someone who you’ve romanticized into your ideal boyfriend, it’s hard not to want to shit where you eat (not literally). When the effect has taken over , you don’t recognize that it’s happening. Why do you think there are so many office relationships? People are always just working with what they’ve got (both figuratively and literally in this case). Maybe Bill in hardware gets too drunk at happy hour and becomes creepy but the fact that you catch him emailing his mother during work has trumped his tipsy shenanigans. You often look past the negatives because you’ve created so many forced positives. This is also why office romance doesn’t usually last forever. Eventually, you’re spending time with your boo both at the office and at home and this adorable human you’ve created in your brain before you really dated, doesn’t exist anymore (really never did) and you begin to panic. Fuck. I have to see Bill every single day and the last thing I want to do is sit in a meeting next to him and watch him look at BarStoolSports’ hottie of the week. He’s so immature. His relationship with his mother is so weird. Do you really think she cares what you had for lunch? Grow up. Why is he looking at the intern like that? Stare a little longer at them, maybe they will do a trick, Bill. Oh wow, Jake is looking so cute today. He must have just gotten a haircut and he looks really clean. I think he and his girlfriend just broke up. She was probably such a bitch. I’m not a huge bitch, I should talk to him. I’m going to offer to help him with something. I wonder what his relationship is like with his mother…
And the vicious cycle continues.
About Justine Kolsky
Justine Kolsky is a writer for Rookerville. Aside from trying to perfect her twerk, she likes to spend her time being cold and sarcastic to her peers. Tell her I said "hello", she'll know what it means.
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