NFL Offseason: Minority Report (AFC East)

Can you smell it?  The buffalo wings, the nacho cheese, the pizza, and whatever else you generally concoct to watch NFL Sunday with.  We’re a few weeks a away from Fantasy Football prep weeks, which means we’re a few weeks away from preseason.  You got Romo showing up to camp after “packing on” the muscle.  Seems every card is stacked against them, which as a Cowboys fan is exactly where I want them to be, rather than the usual over hyped position they find themselves every other year at this point in the year.  Does any other quarterback stand to gain more with one ring other than Tony Romo.  Guy has great stats, but at this point it seems the jury is no longer out.  Jaws dropped him to the 15th spot in his yearly QB rankings. I can think of only one guy really that can possibly gain more.  From one ring Romo can go down as an Elite QB, but with one more for this particular QB, he might be able to finally get the unanimous vote for best ever.  That man is none other than Tom Brady.  Which brings us to the second to last division I’ll be breaking down this offseason for you.  The AFC East.  We’ll get back to Brady, but first the….

 

Buffalo Bills:

Does anyone else think Ryan Fitzpatrick must have created some wild algorithm that went over all his coaches and the GM’s head to support the contract he got 2 years ago.  Can’t you just see it, Mr. Harvard pulls a USA cable television character con on all the execs and introduces some new stat number that made him look better than he was.  He’s my number one suspect for whoever created this total QB rating that ESPN has been pedaling for 3 seasons now.  How else can you explain his dip in the original Quarterback rating and yet a rise in the new Total QBR.  No matter how you slice it, the Bills messed up.  And in the NFL when you mess up with talent, the only smart thing to do is to double down on that very position.  Wait what??  Oh that’s right, that’s not what you should do, but instead what the dumb Bills did when they both signed Kevin Kolb who showed so much potential in Arizona (sarcasm), and then utilized their first round pick to draft EJ Manuel at a position where no one was even sniffing the guy out yet on any draft boards.  Nows a good time to start that ironic slow clap for this team.  If it wasn’t for the Jacksonville Jaguars not getting relegated to college football and staying in the NFL, I would probably rank the Bills as the worst team in football.  Honestly I just hope this team does bad enough that the NFL thinks about actually moving them to Canada.  I’ve seen what happens when Canada has one team (the Raptors kill it in ticket sales in the NBA)and I hope every year they get that one team in football. So that’s my season prediction for the Bills, one step closer to Canada.  Oh and C.J. Spiller will have a good fantasy year.

 

Miami Dolphins:

Yes the Dolphins got Mike Wallace and yes, Tannehill is quickly becoming a serviceable quarterback, but with no running game and a not much improved O-line the Dolphins will have a very tough year.  They’re playing the NFC South and the AFC North this year and I see them losing all but one of those 8 games.  And I wouldn’t be surprised if the Browns prove me wrong on that estimation.  It’s gotta be a tough feeling when the best player wearing your teams colors is the 49ers starting QB who I’ve already stated will have a hard time losing a game this season. The Dolphins will probably split games with the Jets and give the Patriots a couple of exciting games, but I highly doubt they exceed 5 wins this season.  Maybe next year when they hire Danny Gilbride from the Giants for way too much money they’ll be good, but I doubt it cause he’s a terrible coach.

 

New York Jets:

Encore, encore, encore, please.  What can the Jets do to be more entertaining than last year. Rex Ryan pulls one more desperation move and signs Aaron Hernandez to a relatively cheap contract at the risk he might not come back?  Well as of now Mark Sanchez is your starting QB, and by my unofficial rankings he’s the second worst in the league.  I don’t place all the blame on him.  I’m not quite sure Rex ever wanted him to succeed.  Somewhere in some back alley(a pretty wide alley way by the way, probably more like a road), about 5 years ago Rex Ryan and Pete Carroll made a deal to prove Pete Carroll right about Mark Sanchez leaving USC.  It’s the only thing that can explain why the Jets, who needed more receivers and needed to improve their running game, didn’t really improve either. I don’t fault the Jets for taking Geno Smith in the draft, as I’ve said before I think it was a good value pick.  But somehow the Jets went into the offseason with a bunch of needs, and only really filled in their O-line (which was a need), but simultaneously losing the best things they had going for them last year.  Revis and Landry would’ve been a great pair to watch on defense in the coming seasons, but both are now elsewhere.  I hate the Patriots so I’ll be pulling for the Jets in this very subpar division (I can’t believe peers of mine wanted to compare this division to the NFC East) to hopefully make a miracle happen.  Cause they’re going to need it.  I see them getting about 7 wins this seasons. Any more would be rather impressive.

 

New England Patriots:

Hypothetical.  You lose your top receiver of the past 6 years.  You have your new best receiver doing impressions of Mr. Glass, you were one of 4 wins for the hapless Cardinals last year, your other offensive threat has done something so terrible you were forced to offer trade ins for his jerseys, like a guns for toys rally, your franchise player of the last 10 years just turned 35, your defense was near last in passing last season, and your coach is probably Satan’s spawn.  You got no chance right?  There’s no way all this happens to a team and they some how are even contenders for their division.  Well that’s the Patriot’s current situation, and they are way beyond contenders for their division, they are the favorites.  Part of it, is how good Tom Brady is (sorry just threw up a little bit). Part of it is the fact that Bill Belichick is probably Satan’s spawn or at least sold his soul to the devil to become the best coach ever in football.  But a lot of it has to do with their division.  The Patriots have for, since ever, been able to use the regular season as a time to work out the kinks and a time to prep for the offseason.  This is a huge factor in why every year they are contenders for the title.  You give a guy as smart as Belichik and guy as savvy as Tom Brady a season to figure things out, and they will.  I’m an optimist on Gronkowski returning early this season (this has nothing to do with him being a keeper in one of my fantasy leagues, I swear) and I think the Danny Amendola swap for Welker was one of the rare instances where all parties won.  Couple all that with what seems like an embarrassment of riches at running back and Tim Tebow (yes, please wait till I finish making my point before you scoff), and I think you have the ingredients of a team that will lead the league in red zone percentage.  There’s too much there for the genius coach to play with.  I predict they’ll have a heavy jab-jab-hook rhythm to their offense.  They won’t lead the league in offense, but they will probably be extremely efficient.  I have them pegged to win 12 games and will probably meet the Broncos in the AFC championship.  One last battle with Peyton, who now has Welker, seems only fitting by my standards.

 

NFC West

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