Inspired by a friend’s obsession with this.
I had a huge scholarly intro, but I just wanna cut to the chase. What’s with straight dudes playing gay with their friends? Like, okay, I get it I guess in 1998 it was funny to pretend to be gay with your boys. Maybe you played a game of gay chicken. Maybe you tied the bottom of your shirts into makeshift tanks and did your best impression of a male hair dresser. Maybe you lisp the lyrics to a Madonna song for a good laugh. Maybe you threaten your bros with the onslaught of some kind of aggressive sexual advance. Maybe you even fake flirt with your guy pals “to be funny.”
Maybe you do a lot of what you think is “fake gay shit.”
This behavior can come from lots of places that I don’t care to go into. But at the end of the day, you are either:
a) In denial about your sexuality.
Or
b) Amused by homosexuality.
If you are the former, I wish you luck with finding out who you really are and I feel terrible that your true self can only be expressed through “jokes.” If you are the latter, congrats. You’re a knuckle dragging macho man who probably thinks the direct-to-video American Pie movies are funny. You’re a regular Van Wilder. I’ll bet you like Dane Cook and LOVE Tucker Max. The Gay and Lesbian section of Netflix is a real LAUGH RIOT to you. You probably threaten to put on Brokeback Mountain whenever its movie night with the pals. I’ll bet you’ve never actually thought about your sexuality. I mean how could you? You’re “straight as fuck.” Only F-words question themselves right?
Do me a favor. Go back to your National Lampoon Presents version of reality.
About Michael Stevens
Michael is a writer for Rookerville and an aspiring writer at the beginning of his first significant meltdown: the Quarter-Life Crisis. He likes to think of himself as 'the alien of the group' or 'the android attempting to be human.' He is interested in many things so it would be easier to describe all the things he is not interested in: Sports. Read his stuff if you want to hear everything but sports. He is currently at large.
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