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Posted by on May 30, 2013 in Jack Gatehouse, More Featured, Social | 0 comments

I’m For an Orgasms Based Economy

RyanGoslingSpotlight

 

Being that for better part of human existence, we have been in hot pursuit of these sometimes elusive, sometimes abundant creatures, it only makes sense that we drop the pretense of civility, full faith and credit in a union, or even a gold standard and base our society on something that we all agree is unequivocally true: orgasms are good, and we’d all like more.

 

Initially, you might think that a system like this would be male dominated. That is not so. This would be a system based on PROVIDING orgasms, the value amassed by the giver, not the receiver. Since orgasms could not be stock piled at home to create wealth, masturbation would become the finance equivalent of lighting a cigar with a hundred dollar bill: an exhilarating if somewhat empty gesture that will probably make you feel better but can really cause damage if you do it too much in a short period of time. The ability to provide orgasms would immediately rearrange the social hierarchy placing women firmly up top, followed by gay men, then lesbians, leaving poor power hungry straight men at the bottom.

 

One might think that this system then favors the bisexual and it is a fair conclusion. Then again, most bisexuals I’ve met have been very affable people. If the most power in this world was concentrated into a group of people with a philosophy of “Hey, why not?” then I think we’re already starting off on the right foot.

 

The simplest way for the system to work would be like so: A man enters restaurant owned by a woman. He offers to please her in exchange for a delicious sandwich. If she approves of him, the arrangement is made and they get to it. If it’s a good orgasm, he might have free sandwiches for a week. If it’s a poor one, he gets what he ordered. If she gets no orgasm but he does, he is now in her debt and will have to wash dishes for a duration based on how disappointing his performance.

 

Female entrepreneurship will flourish in this economy as will personal experimentation depending on just how bad you still want to eat at a Mario Batalli restaurant.

 

The same principle will apply to all goods and service based industries from automobiles, to electronics, to agriculture to military. The armed services will immediately have an open door policy that respects anyone that it can get. The prostitution industry will be devastated, making it even harder out there for a pimp.

 

The idea of credit will be completely reversed. No longer will you be able to purchase something on the promise of return. Everyone pays upfront and is delivered their credit for services rendered. Most women can tell you that orgasm futures is a very shaky investment indeed.

 

But what about the awkward and the unattractive? Wouldn’t this system unfairly favor the gorgeous?

 

Not as much as you might think.

 

Though the attractive will have the luck with sex and success that they always have, reputations for satisfaction go a long way. The meritocracy that evolves from the system’s word of mouth will blossom quickly. The unattractive learned a long time ago how to make up for their inadequacy in the dark. As reputations spread, so to will pleasant surprises of accepting payment from the homely.

 

Ultimately, I’m sure there will some cracks in the system. However, all systems are flawed. It’s just that this one really seems like its worth a try!

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